Kitty and Jack Newsletter

Newsletter  2019/2020


Jack and Kitty GRAND FINAL Newsletter 

Dramatic news at the club! Stan the Statsman has been given a suspended 1 week ban. Jack can reveal that a SPECIAL meeting of the Table of Knowledge has been held with the GURU presiding. After much animated discussion the GURU moved for a 1 week suspended sentence. It was felt that as Stan was a poor pensioner no fine should be issued. (This was passed) after Stan was found to have given out misleading information regarding when Wayne Roberts would play his 200th game. I repeat 1 week not 4 as has been sprouted by the ORACLE. Jack raised the issue of conflict of interest allowing the ORACLE to vote on the charge of supplying misinformation, but this was howled down (So much for democracy). As was established Wayne played his 200th game in 2019. Last week was his 200th game in the firsts. A feat Mitch Walton will achieve this week in the grand final. Jack apologises for repeating this misinformation and the stress it may have caused Wayne and his family. When handing down the sentence the GURU stated the LION never worries about what the SHEEP thinks,

Members may have noticed the brilliant article on page 5 of Tuesday March the 5th’s Ballarat Courier. It was in reference to our great friend Shaun Firman and partner Emma Hoffman and the struggles that they and the Firman family are currently going through. As stated Shaun’s treatment is costing $60,000. Carly Firman has set up a Go Fund me page that even Jack and Kitty could find and donate on. So please if you can help get on your computers, type in Go Fund me Shaun Firman, hit the donate button and give what you feel you can.

It will be a big weekend at the Hawks nest this weekend with three teams playing in Grand Finals. The selectors are to be congratulated as only Victoria can claim a better result this season. It is expected that all those members not participating will be at Central Wendouree both Saturday and Monday to cheer and support those bowlers lucky enough to be selected. Bowlers are reminded to be at Wendouree by 12.40pm and members are to note that the celebrations (hopefully victorious) will be on back at the club after the medallion presentations at Wendouree have finished. Pizza’s will be ordered for 6.45pm.

Division One will take on Linton and after losing the second semi final will go in as slight under dogs. Division Four have come from the clouds and are a genuine chance to roll favourites Victoria. As has been seen by results you do not need to win every rink, you only have to minimise the scoring if you are behind. As demonstrated by Midweek Premier who only had one winning rink but still got over the top of the table Buninyong. They will now face off against Ballarat Memorial Sports. With both teams having one win a piece this season. Please get your names down for the Presentation night on the 27th March and the AGM



Division One took on the very strong Midlands side. At the half way mark Midlands held a slender lead with Gavin Mann’s rink in full control and Wayne Roberts rink hanging tough. Immediately after afternoon tea Terry O’Farrell, Jenny Harman, Ian Robinson and Wayne scored a seven and the other three rinks picked up a further seven, a fourteen shot turn around in one end. The team lifted and looked home only to go back into their shells and let Midlands do what great teams do FIGHT to the death. Midlands last ten ends saw them coming over the top, but in the end the Hawks hung on in another thriller. Peter Cameron, Leigh McKenzie, Mark Firman and Gavin Mann by five shots were the best performed. It is on again Saturday at Wendouree against Linton

Division Four played at Ballarat against Ballarat Memorial Sports. After a tough game the Hawks proved the old adage you not need to win every rink you just need to win by shots in finals. It does not matter if you play the oppositions best you only have to restrict their scoring so your mates can do the damage if they are lucky enough to strike a weaker rink. With every rink playing its part when the game got tight we had the confidence that we would all play our role and that’s the way it was. The experienced Alan Hawkes, Barry Hender and Jan Vance led superbly by Peter Oxlade had the Diggers under extreme pressure, with Robert Vance, David O’Sullivan, Rosaleen Ryan and Michelle Tait also adding shots Garry Hamilton and Alan Uthenwoldt’s rinks kept their scores tight


Premier Division took on ladder leaders Buninyong in a thriller (Jack was that nervous that he spent his weekly allowance on beer, don’t ever complain about the price of beer at our club.) Jenny Harman drew Buninyong’s Brian Wilcox, in a superb team performance all four bowlers Sandy Grano, Rosaleen Ryan, Peter Orr and Jenny played their role to perfection and won by five shots. Amazingly they were the only winning rink for the Hawks, Wayne Roberts rink going down by one and Ian Robinson’s rink by three.

Members are reminded that the celebrations will be on back at the club after the presentations at Wendouree have finished. Light refreshments and finger food will be provided.

As this is our final newsletter in 2020 GOOD LUCK to all teams and players next Weekend Kitty and Jack

Nearly the Grand Final Newsletter

It was a sad weekend for the old Jack and Kitty as they sat on the sidelines watching those lucky enough to be playing finals, (Jack is still smarting over his selection in division five all year. Everybody I ask agrees with me that I am better than that) Just the same I swallowed my pride and travelled to Buninyong to support the team in the Four’s whilst Kitty went to Webbconna to watch the One’s. More about those results later in the newsletter. Sunday was the Lords day so we took the granddaughters Matilda and Anna to Church and then Macca’s for a reward. (Still do not understand why Kitty uses bribery to get them to go again after we and the preacher have spent an hour teaching them right from wrong). Monday came around and Kitty was all nervous about facing Midlands and it showed in the way she played before lunch. After lunch was finished I said listen here Kitty, Kitty if you want to play next week you better extract the digit and start bowling. That of course went down well as Kitty thought she was doing a good job. I knew if they didn’t win it was going to be me and BOO sharing the bedding again. Thank you Cheryl, Leigh, Liz and Robbo! I went to the club on Tuesday morning for a late convening of the Table of Knowledge (What happened to the Baker? It appears he did not get the message and still arrived Monday) and Ian was still going on about how good his rink performed. Even the GURU and Stan the Statsman thought he was having a lend of himself and they told him so. Stan reported that Wayne Roberts will play his 200th game for City Oval in this week’s Preliminary final whilst Ken Magrath claimed his 100th victory in the first grade last Saturday. The ORACLE said he knew for a fact that there is a go fund me page set up on Face book to help raise some serious money for the very expensive treatment our great friend Mark Firman’s son Shaun has to undergo at Peter McCallum. Unlike most of the ORACLES other statements this is definitely true. Please if you want to and if you know how get on facebook and donate whatever you feel you can comfortably afford.

As the season comes to a close it is time to reward all our Club winners. To this end The Presentation Night is on the 27th March. It is being catered for by Fabulous Feast at a cost of $25 per head. It is unconfirmed but I believe that the Conaughton and Bennett/McIvor medals will be presented on the same night after the counting was done in camera recently. For catering purposes there is a list up at the club house so please all get your names on it and make this a huge celebration of the Clubs year. Jack also noted that the Annual General Meeting is listed for the 19th April. It is time for members to give serious thought to how they can help the club. I hear there are several vacancies arising at Board level and the other numerous committees that any bowling club needs to be successful, so please give this some very serious thought, Jack when talking about Legends in relation to our centenary was surprised to hear Kitty’s brother ask the other day how many genuine volunteers does City Oval have compared to the number of members?



Kitty reports that Division One went to Webbconna full of confidence after finishing on top of the Ladder only to be met by an equally confident Linton team. At the halfway mark the game was evenly poised. The stars in the early part were Ken Magrath, Mitch Walton, Heath Fumberger, Wayne Roberts and Mark Firman. Immediately post afternoon tea the HAWKS took a solid lead and looked likely to run away with the win. According to Kitty it was either complacency or tiredness that set in and suddenly Linton were up for the fight and the game changed. As has been discussed since we all know that the game came down to the last end which unfortunately the HAWKS lost. They will know face Midlands knowing that there are no more second chances.

Division Four played at Buninyong against Sebastopol. The HAWKS jumped out to a good lead early by having bowls in the head allowing their skippers to set defensive heads and dictate the game as they felt fit. As is often the case either we lacked the killer instinct or Sebastopol just started playing better but soon the lead was whittled away and the game was on in earnest. In the end class won out and the HAWKS ran out winners by thirteen shots. John Ryan, Ken Birch, Terry Grano and Eddie Harman won by twelve shots as did Pat Birch, Cheryl Magrath, Ray Kinna and Alan Uthenwoldt. A great team effort


Premier Division were at Ballarat along with half the other divisions on a packed green with eleven rinks full and a large and vocal audience to watch proceedings. Kitty claims it was a great atmosphere even if it did put her off her game with so many people watching, The Ballarat club are to be congratulated on the way they ran the day; even if Jack did find it hard to get a beer at eleven (I always has one at eleven). Midlands got the jump on the HAWKS with Paul Carlyle from Midlands, not City Oval as reported in the Courier, and Paul Kennedy leading the way. With MichelleTait, Ken Nunn, Janine and Wayne Roberts skipping out to a big lead and covering the other two rinks it was nip and tuck with one shot the difference at lunch. Ian Robinson by all accounts stressed the absolute importance of winning the first ends after lunch. It has since been revealed at the Table of Knowledge by the GURU that a strategy of bowling short into the wind and bowling longer with the wind devised by Liz Kierce undid Midlands. Cheryl Magrath demonstrated the vital importance of rolling the cat to perfection and then placing pressure on the opposition by getting a bowl in the head near the Jack thus allowing Leigh McKenzie, Liz Kierce and Ian Robinson to play positional bowls and skip away to give the HAWKS a match winning lead. Kitty and the team will now face off against Buninyong and BOO gets to sleep on his own this week.